dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
