Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
