remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Where is the hickey?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
