Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
