I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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