jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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