Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize