You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
