ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They took my balls.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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