At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize