guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
