i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
