We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
