Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You made out with two different species that night
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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