Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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