If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
