made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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