I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize