college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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