He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
3 2 1 whiskey
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
