ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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