Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
