It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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