I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
