i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
