Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize