Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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