Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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