4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
