Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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