the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
