you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
