Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
