Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
