I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think i have two assholes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There's even glitter on my cock...
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