i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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