my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
