My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
