Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Randomize
