I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
