That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
