Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
