She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
