Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
