my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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