The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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