8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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