we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
