And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
