I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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