So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
