Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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