gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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