Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
