Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
