I swear god or herbie drove my car home
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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