I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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