Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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