And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize