My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No I am not eating basil off your cock
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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