All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
