Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
