I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
